I was both thrilled and delighted to see your previous post. It had absolutely nothing to do with any of the movies you mentioned. I looked into your cinematic excitements of 2009 and was unable to identify with your level of enthusiasm. However, you merely typing the name of Rashida Jones was enough to set my teeth on edge. I began to feel that wonderful burning sensation in my loins and thus began to masturbate to the posted photograph while at the public library. It was like being a boy again and discovering my love for the first time in her brief moments in The Love Contract sketch on Chappelle's Show.
I must agree with you, Rashida Jones is in fact a hottie. I will go as far as to say she may be entitled to being called A Stone Cold Fox. How else would the off spring of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton turn out to be? It is a shame though, I don't believe she has inherited much of the talents of her parents. Her father being a rather famous music producer behind arguably one of Michael Jackson's best albums and her mother being that woman who played that lady who ran the diner in Twin Peaks. Oh well, she sure has those looks.
I am a little disturbed by your suggestion that she may look like a hypothetical attractive mother of a friend. Rashida Jones is still a young woman and I would be rather upset to find out she had a child out of wedlock at the mere age of 16. I do believe you were mistaken by making such an outlandish suggestion.
Speaking of mothers of friends you would sleep with, I quickly ran through mental scenarios of you sleeping with all of the mothers of people in our ever-so-exclusive circle. One at a time. It was both frightening and titillating. I feel much closer to you now.
I must now move onto the reason behind this letter...
Love Always,
Kevin Joseph Convery, Esq.
P.S. I almost think less of you for saying you would see a movie based on Steven Soderbergh directing. It's 2009, Alex. Steven Soderbergh hasn't done anything good in just about a decade.
Listen, Kevin. I'm starting to get sick of you over analyzing my shit.
ReplyDeleteI said Rashida Jones looks like a mom I'd like to fuck, but not the kind you find on MILFHunter, which by the way are mostly just regular porn stars wearing glasses. She has a wizened face, and dude, she's 32.
And Steven Sodebergh almost killed George Clooney, so he gets as many second chances as he wants, in my book, especially when he's directing Benecio Del Toro.