Here's my list of movies that I'm excited about in 2009, and before you judge me, just understand that I generally don't like to see good movies in the theater*; I like to see movies that will make me giggle at innapropriate times and make the other patrons in the theater uncomfortable.
*I just realized that I've been typing it as theatre which technically is correct, but makes me sound like a foppish prick.
I'll stick to one movie per month, as I know you fucker's don't like seeing a lot of words.
- Jan: Che: Part Two
This one technically was limited release in '08 but IMDB claims it's USA official releas is January 24th. This movie's got a lot going for it, namely Steven Soderbergh and Benicio Del Toro. When I was growing up, I thought that Che Guevara was for the legalization of pot, because I knew a lot of stoners who wore his face on their shirt. Turns out that wasn't the case, and ever since I saw The Motorcyle Diaries, I've harbored a new found interest in South American political strife and, strangely, bad ass Latin men, and having Benecio Del Toro playing Ernesto "Che" Guevara, you've practically got badass Latin².
Honorable mention: Notorious, My Bloody Valentine 3D
This movie to me seems like it will either be a landmark movie or a total shit sandwich. This is director Brett Simon's first full length film, and the pair of shorts he has under his belt, pun very much intended, are ambitious if not a little bit of a let down. Basically this movie's an excuse to get young kids portraying high school students to take their clothes off in a dramatic environment. There's also some kind of SAT conspiracy underpinning the whole thing. Oh, and Bruce and Rumer Willis are both some how attatched to it.
Honorable Mention: Coraline
- Mar: Tie:I Love You, Man/This Side of the Truth
In I Love You, Man, Paul Rudd plays a guy staring down the barrel of married life and is in a search for a best friend to be his best man. He meets Jason Segel and his new friendship puts a strain on his relationship. Plot, in this particular movie isn't really important; the two things that are important? Rudd and Segel are fucking hilarious, and...
Wow...she's a hottie. I mean, I know she kinda looks like she could be your friends mom, but I've wanted to fuck my friends mom before too.
This Side of the Truth, on the other hand, is Ricky Gervaises new film where he plays a man who, in a world where lies have never been told, becomes the greatest living writer by exploiting his ability to lie. It kind of sounds to me like Yes Man in reverse, and if they wanted it to be funny. It's also got a pretty awesome looking cast and is narrated by fucking Patrick Stewart. Next to David Attenborough, there's really no greater narrator alive.
Honorable Mention: Watchmen
- Apr: Dragonball Evolution
With Justin Chatwin; the toolbag who plays the douchebag in Chumscrubber, playing Goku under James Wong's; mastermind behind Final destination, direction, this movie is almost garaunteed to be a totally embarassing pile of shit, that will in turn be pretty fucking awesome to watch on opening night. You know for a fact that the audience will break down in a very interesting way. Here's what I think it'll look like.
- 32%: Fanboys coming by themselves because they don't interact anywhere other than the intertubes.
- 33%: Large groups of roving teen boys who will be awestruck by the movie
- 33%: Frat boys who are really just repressed fanboys who learned to drink heavily in college
- 2%: Assholes like me who just want to laugh at what was supposed to be a serious movie that quickly degraded into a quick way to make money off of devoted fanboys.
Honorable Mention: Observe and Report
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