Kids with Guns

As I get older, and my conscience develops a bit more, I find stuff like this less funny, and more concerning.

I'm not saying it's not funny to see a kid doped up on pain killers and probably general or local anaesthesia, because that is hilarious.  This kid is bonked out of his mind, and saying really funny things. ("Is this real life?", Yes David, and it's going to continue to suck until you find more of the weird gas that the doctor let you smell...)  As I get older, what bothers me more is the periphery. Why doesn't his dad seem to be concerned? Why's he goading him on? Why's a six or seven year old getting oral surgery?

Here's a little test to see if you're getting old, like me.

1. You just watched Knocked Up, starring Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl, produced by Judd Appatow. Which of these most closely resembles your current state:

• A: That was fucking hilarious, and we're out of pot.
• B: Oh my god, my sides hurt, that Jonah Hill is going to be the next Sam Kinnison/Chris Farley
• C: That was cute, I bet Seth Rogen would make a great dad.

2. Your room mates are going out to the bar, because it's someone's birthday, unfortunately it's a work night, and you've got a long day ahead of you.  You say, 

• A: "Let's get going, I've got some getting fucked up to do."
• B: "If you buy the first round, I'll come, but only for a while"
• C: "Goodnight, kids."

3. The dishes are piling up, the fridge is leaking some kind of vile liquid, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned, in earnest, since August, you've got at least four loads of laundry to do, you can't find your garbage can under the pile of trash next to your desk and you've got an afternoon off you...

• A: Watch all three Back to the Future movies and then probably Ghost Busters 1 & 2
• B: Watch all three Jurasic Park movies while getting less then half of your chores done, and still feel accomplished
• C: Begrudgingly do all of your work, and then snap on the next person you see.

4. You just woke up on a work day.  It's 6:50, you've got to be out of the house by 7:50. You:

• A: Surf porn on the internet, watch a YouTube video, leave at 7:49 and still get to work 15 minutes late.
• B: Check your email, brush your teeth and leave with almost enough time to stop and get a fast food breakfast on the way to work. You're still five minutes late.
• C: Take a shower, brush your teeth, eat a bowl of cereal, take a mulit-vitamin, and surf internet porn.

5. You have $40.00 in your wallet, you're starving. You...

• A: Get Chinese take out - $10. Four nights in a row.
• B: Get a pizza delivered - $20. Feed yourself for dinner, and breakfast and lunch the next day.
• C: Go to the grocery store, spend $38 dollars on groceries, feed yourself for a week, even though that means eating boring microwave soup for dinner four nights in a row

An A answer is 1 point, a B answer is 3 points, a C is 5 points.

• 1-8 Points: Did you graduate high school? Or were they just sick of looking at you.  Now would not be a good time to start a family or try to get a job, I mean, unless you like being laughed at a failing.
• 9-17 Points: Your parents are so proud of you, unfortunately everyone else couldn't give a shit.
• 18-25 Points: Your life is over, you suck, and you're boring.  Start buying stock in Centrum Silver, old man/woman.
  

So yeah, life, in general, no matter how youthfully carefree or mature and actualized, is kind of a bum deal.