Thursday, March 19, 2009

You know why this blog has sucked as of the last few days?

Because the Internet has been more fun than edgy as of recently, mainly because my company has set up a net nanny, which means I can't look at objectionable materiel.

So here's how I'd waste my time on the Internet if I lived in a communist dictatorship.  Probably.

PopURLS: They call themselves an aggregator, but really they just list the top ten or so links from all of the big social bookmarking sites, as well as Flickr, YouTube and a bunch of news sites.  Kevin turned me on to it, and it's an easy way to appear to be a master of the Internet with very little effort.

The Amazing Atheist: I don't agree with this guy on a lot of issues.  In fact, just about none, but it's kind of like watching the original British version of The Office; you giggle, but you feel uncomfortable. He's loud, he swears, dresses like 1996 never ended, he's ugly, he's opinionated, and I'm pretty sure that had someone loved him a little bit more, he'd probably just end up playing a lot of Dungeons and Dragons and not ever bother anyone, but I'm glued to his YouTube chanel.  Why? Because what's better to watch than a trainwreck? A trainwreck with huge ass man tits, that's what.

Facebook: I want to start out by saying this; You know what Facebook? Fuck you. You wanna know why? Fuck you again.  Not good enough? Well go fuck yourself and we'll move on from that point.  Why do I like Facebook? I think it has something to do with the labarynthine nature of finding people from my past that I do want to connect with by means of friending some people who I'd never wish to see again, just because I know that the people who I'd like to are probably friends with them.  I like adding old friends only to send them a message saying...
"Hey man, you know how I found you? I found you because you're friends with Laurice Pollack! When did you become a douche?"
...then I cryptically update my status and tag my friends in funny pictures of cartoon stereotypesand drink scotch until I choke on my own vomit.

OneMoreLevel.com: I kind of have a soft spot for Flash games, but the big sites like AddictingGames and Newgrounds are slow and dificult to navigate.  I like OneMoreLevel because the guy who runs it posts one new game every week day, and they usually are pretty fun.

F*** My Life: F*** My Life is like Twitter for anonymous losers. It's a testimonial site where you can post the lowest points of your life as they are happening, and the community can rate them as to how fucked you life is, or if you deserved it. My favorite? 
Today, I heard my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M.  When I looked over at my girlfriend lying next to me, who must have thought I was asleep, I noticed she was masturbating. FML!
Engrish Funny!: A photoblog dedicated to the poor English translations and just general poor use of the English language used on signage around the world.

Passive Aggressive Notes: Another Photoblog dedicated to the notes that you often find posted around an office or a shared habitation. Some seriously funny shit in here.

Cracked.com: I'm not so much a fan of most Internet comedy sites, but this one is pretty good.  It's written by readers, so a lot of it is rubbish and pointless time wasters, but the videos produced by one of the staff members, Michael Swaim, are usually really fucking funny.

And of course, after the NetNanny was put in place, I had to check and yes, while I can't watch a kid breaking his leg while skateboarding on Metacafe, I can still visit...

xnxx: The world greatest free porn site.

No comments:

Post a Comment